Hitting all the Right Notes

This month Rob Palmer ponders the pitfalls of online dating…

Loving Couple Walking With Pet Golden Retriever Dog Along Autumn Woodland Path Through Trees

One of my regular customers at Roan Records has been keeping me informed of her online dating activities while, at the same time, I have been giving her dating advice from the male perspective. These conversations have caused me to dwell on the virtual world search for a partner.

While all ages are using the services of online dating apps, it’s probably the more mature single that is behind the increasing proliferation of these dating sites. This demographic may find it difficult to meet someone in more conventional face-to-face situations. But while there many positive benefits from finding ‘the one’ online, there are also many pitfalls.

Initially, one has the difficult task of creating their profile. Fighting against humility and modesty, we must present ourselves as interesting and attractive. After trawling through our photo library for hours on end, we discover that our best images are in photos that include the ex or we may be tempted to use a 20-year old image of our younger, slimmer and cooler selves. After another couple of hours of trying to get to grips with the cropping tool, we call a friend and ask them to take some new photos.

Profile complete, we dispatch it to the World Wide Web…and wait. In the meantime, us shallow men search through the list of possible candidates, continually swiping left; lingering for a split second on the image staring back at us, and with a decisive mental ‘yes’ or ‘no’; taking no time whatsoever to read the blurb that best represents the whole person.

The next stage in this real-life drama is the initial meet-up. Will she match her profile images? What will we talk about? Do I need a contingency plan, if the first ten minutes are a mini disaster?

The date goes very well; we spend many hours in deep and meaningful conversation and the evening ends with an agreement to talk (or text) the next day for date feedback. Definitely want to see her again…need to start thinking about the venue for the next date… must start using my gym membership for the first time in years.

She calls the next day and suggests there was no spark or chemistry, and you tell a huge lie by agreeing with her. “Good luck in the future”, she says.

Oh well! Back to the train spotting and stamp collecting!

Rob Palmer is the owner of Roan Records,

12 Church Road, Teddington TW11 8PB.


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